Why people want sex – or not – is complex. Good sex “forever” is NOT automatic for most people, no matter how happy the relationship is in other ways.
Low desire & low sex relationships
are among the most common complaints brought to marriage and sex therapy offices, and to many physicians. You may have been diagnosed with Hypo-active Sexual Desire Disorder - or as having a female sexual dysfunction. Research shows these diagnoses are scientifically unsound. Here’s why:
In 30% - 50% of cases, its the man who is not interested in sex - a fact largely unknown by the public and often unaddressed
There is no scientifically established “normal” level of desire
There is no scientifically established "healthy" or correct amount of sex to have - or not have!
The situation is clinically described as
differing desire levels, or desire discrepancy:
Interest in sex is lower for one person than for the other
interest is lower than it was in the past
interest is lower than one or both partners would like
Low desire and low sex relationships are no ones fault.
Many things cause lack of desire including illness, medications, age, childbirth related changes,
pain, past trauma, as well as many personal and situational factors that are not medically oriented.
Sex therapy can help with any of these causes and factors.
Lack of desire is not a dysfunction for women or men. Its a reasonable result of life components and events.
There is no scientific, accurate definition of desire itself, let alone of “functional” desire, however,
Low desire/low sex marriage is a problem if
partners have monogamous sexual commitments AND
low sex issues are impacting the relationship
low sexual issues are impacting either or both partners
an individual or couple would like to have more interest in sex
You may not know if its "too late" until you consult with a certified sex therapist, but do consult with someone because
Symptoms of low sex relationships can cause break-ups:
Loss of closeness
Feelings of rejection, low self esteem
wondering if the low interest partner is having an affair
Feelings of guilt and sadness
Blaming & resentment
Not having fun together
Fear of losing the partner
Fear of hurting the partner
Avoiding the subject – and anything that might lead to it
Arguments and lack of communication - probably about many things
Confusion, pain, and upset
Lack of, or unsatisfactory (according to YOU!) connection & sex
Loss of trust and feelings of estrangement
Use of the “roommate” word...
If you are experiencing a serious problem, it will not improve with age. Call sooner, rather than later,but dont give up hope without consulting with a qualified professional.
707 819 2900 firstname.lastname@example.org