The big O


Orgasm, often thought of as the goal, and the end, of having sex, can be elusive or impossible for some men and women. For others – can happen so quickly that the sexual encounter is considered “over” before it began.

In many cultures including America, little to no education about sex or sexual anatomy is routinely provided, or worse, mis-information comes at us from television, movies, magazines, schools, churches, pornography…equally misinformed family and other people…this causes a lot of painful and confusing problems!



Only about 30% of women report orgasms from intercourse alone – 

most women need direct and consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, 

many for an average of about 20 minutes


The “G” spot is a real part of female anatomy, does provide stimulation, can aid in number and intensity of orgasms - and is not easy to find without directions!


Pornography is a fine stimulator for many individuals and couples, but is NOT a good source for learning sexual skills because:

    its made for men’s pleasure 

    its not a realistic depiction of connected relationship sex 

    nor of sex that women want 

   the women are usually ACTING – NOT COMING 

   the men are using pills, creams, and mental techniques to last longer 

  it’s a movie - it’s EDITED


Orgasm is a series of spasms that involve the spinal cord and other parts of the anatomy

The BRAIN remains the most powerful sex organ 

The brain influences, and responds to, orgasm and the entire sexual experience


In nature, the barnyard male that impregnates the most females 

has most chance of sending forth his own genes – 

“coming fast” may also be hardwired in some men, 

but they can learn to last longer – humans are more than barnyard animals!


There is no “NORMAL’ amount of sex to have, 

nor length of time that sex should last – 

some people like a lot, others don’t . 

no scientific “NORM” has been established


Most people enjoy sex for reasons other than orgasm


”SEX” is NOT limited to INTERCOURSE 

nor does it have to end when the man has an orgasm


CONNECTION with the partner 

and the overall experience of being together sexually 

(not specifically or primarily orgasm) is what most people seek


when they learn to connect, it's what they want; 

when they don’t have connection, it's what they miss


Sex and relationship counseling can help with orgasm issues: 

provides information

teaches communication and intimacy skills 

assesses and addresses the cause for problems